I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
