My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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