You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
