you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
