wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize