dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize