I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
