I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
