dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize