Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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