Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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