Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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