Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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