i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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