Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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