Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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