OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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