summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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