just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She's the barista slut.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
