btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
