Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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