So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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