I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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