do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
