She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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