Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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