Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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