Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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