Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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