you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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