Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
