i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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