ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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