Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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