I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A bitchslap is in order.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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