He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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