So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
