how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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