So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
