Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
