exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
where am i from again
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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