i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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