Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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