so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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