Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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