And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it glows. i had to have it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
