Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
