last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
