You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
