Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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