Cold hands, warm shart.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
