Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
