I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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