Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize