Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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