Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You're like the curious george of whores
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
