apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
