Porn is love you can see.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
