I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
