so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
