I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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