Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you never un-have a 4some
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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